The Church of the Golden Arches
I went to church today. Or I should say I tried to go to church today.
I woke up feeling heavy. Heavier than I've felt in a long time. My personal funds are getting low. It's nerve-racking (actually a bit terrifying), and I don't always know the right move.
So there's that, but also if you follow this blog, you know that not so long ago, I fell in love. I believe now, with all my heart, that it was with the right man…but the wrong time. Neither of us has the capacity for the complexities of a relationship when it seems we're both just trying to breathe. But now my achy-breaky heart has all this love with nowhere to go. And I miss him.
Maybe these trials and tribulations sound like just another country song to my readers, but to me, all of this is enough to leave this woman, at times, in tears of fear and longing. And it hurts.
So I decided to let this Sunday be a day of surrender. And lately that surrender goes straight to the Big Guy, because I've come to believe that no one else can hold an ache this big. I looked up a church and decided to put aside my insecurities about showing up alone and go. I resolved that I would find myself a nice corner pew way in the back, listen, and just give it all to God. I just want to be with Him.
As I drove towards the church, my music in my car seemed to sync perfectly with the pain in my heart. Tears poured down my cheeks. At the church entrance, I noticed a line of cars waiting to get in. A police car with its lights on was managing traffic. When I finally made it into the lot, volunteers directed a slow line of creeping cars to the back. Waiting patiently (and still crying), I could not find a spot.
None of this felt right.
I needed God, not a parking attendant, so I drove away.
As I headed towards home I thought about this Jesus-thing I've been fixated on lately, Nothing could be stranger for this Jew turned Buddhist turned Hindu gal, but here I am. And apparently I'm all in.
I remembered hearing that one of Jesus's aims was to take worship out of the temples, away from the mountaintops, and bring it into our hearts.
So what did I do? I turned on Crowder - a Christian band that he had recommended to me. (I can't believe I'm listening to Christian music! Lol!) As the song “Somebody Prayed” played on my car speakers, I turned into McDonald's.
Somehow, while lined up now with a whole new set of cars, feeling the music crescendo I realized that God is never far away… not at all.
When I got to the window to pay, I recognized the regular cashier. He's a strange, scrawny kid, with long hair in a bun and feminine features. My first impulse was to judge him as I do with people sometimes, but then I softened and let myself just see him through the eyes of love.
As he gave me my receipt, he smiled so brightly, and I smiled back.
And for that moment the whole drama of my life melted away.
If Jesus is as real as my friends keep saying he is, then we need to be looking for Him, not just in big buildings, but in the people. I believe the Holy Spirit isn't exclusive; it resides in every soul (even if we don't know it). We just have to soften our hearts to notice. When we humble ourselves to accept that grace–that Universal love given to each and everyone of us–we will find him everywhere - even in the McDonald's drive-thru line.
Do you have a powerful story of transformation to share?
Join me for a session of interactive story games! Together, in one-on-one sessions or fun group workshops, we dive into the narratives of our lives. Each meeting is tailored to just where you want to go.
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